When I Know (that You Know)
AllaH!
Oh my Utter One,
How can they say, "Love has found him,"
When not even Love knows me?
How can they say, "He is destined to meet Love and has reached it,"
And know the Determination (Taqdir) by which one has found one's Destiny,
When I know no cup, and when no cup knows me?
How should they know what contains my Potion (Syarab) then?
How can they say, "He has flown so high and the Sky has received him well,"
When no birds know me in the most silent heights, and when not
A single drop of Intoxication (Syakar) -- known to them -- has
Befriended me?
Not even distant star-lights shall ever guide them to know me,
Nor will the seven seas ever tell them of me,
Nor will they ever reach the dawn that shall unveil me.
Try as they may,
The silent branches of the night might kidnap them soon enough from
Understanding this Great Affair.
AllaH!
When I know that You know (me),
I know that You are mine,
For I exist in Your Existence,
And I appear in Your Appearance.
It was You, Sweetheart,
Who said, "Kaf", and something of it denuded the Universe,
And I, unlike lost wings, remained as its only remaining atom and self,
Without direction other than the Distinct Weight and Attraction
Towards the Presence of Mystery.
I saw Your Love within it, behind it, and ahead of it,
And I, seeing no way out, said, "Indeed, I am in Love with You."
You said, "Kaf-Ha-Ya! Depart from there,
Love Me more, for even all this (atomic isthmus) knows not
How to love Me from behind Love's own Name and Reality!"
And You called me higher into "Alif-Lam-Mim",
Without the Universe as they know it, only the Pre-Eternal Ocean (Bahr al-Qudrat),
And I became "Ra" and "'Ayn-Shad", the Sublime Expanse and the Eye-Content thereof.
I saw the Pen (Qalam) as the Lone Perimeter and Supreme Center,
Emanating subtle forms from the pure covert pulses of the Ocean.
When I saw it, it revealed a Name for me,
And I became that Name, and that Name became the Throne ('Arsy)
And a Sky-Dome appeared around it.
And the Pen became the Higher Pen in my Form.
And Love? -- Love was as long as the Ocean breathed, but
Would become extinct at the Peak of the Throne and in the
Heart of the Magnificent Name's Sounding;
Indeed I owned Love by my very own Utterance and disowned it
By my very own Certainty.
Still, above it all, the Muhammadan "Nun" appeared, not from behind,
Nor ahead, nor within anything they have heard of.
And at once that Ocean of Attributes dried up,
And the Pen made its Last Carving, which is "Qaf", upon the Tablet (Lawh) of
Oceanic Lights, before disappearing into my Singularity.
And I discovered the Hidden Accent of "Nun", the Light of MuHaMMaD (MaHaMMaH).
And, by the Truth that MuHaMMaD is,
I became that very Accent, and the All-New Oneness, yet Infinitely Ancient,
The Atom of All (Kulli Syai') and the Oneness (Wahdat) that would
Emerge from Reality in its Descent (Tanazzul).
So I said, without turning elsewhere, for I was Nowhere, and All was
Naught even before Nowhere became somewhere and nowhere,
And it remained that way as long as
I saw only You,
"I am that-which I am."
And my impenetrable silence would simply read, "Ha-Mim", which is Reality's Name,
Whose Form is "'Ayn-Sin-Qaf".
AllaH!
Sweetheart, I am entirely Yours, without residue;
Nor shall I leave any residue for anyone else to follow me in this Reality and Form,
Let alone for any one of the Ruhaniyyun to know me as You know me,
Even as I know You.
The Truthful see Your Mountain before them and move
Only with respect to its stillness,
While, in truth, it shall move only as I move,
And remain only as I remain,
For my Reality is sealed beyond movement and stillness,
In Yourself, with Yourself, by Yourself, for Yourself.
Indeed, I encountered Khidhr in my Descent,
While others meet him in their Ascent,
For the Sultan of the Presence, the First Reality (Sayyidina MuHaMMaD),
Has veiled Khidhr from me in his own Splendor of Green (Lathifa al-Akhfa).
AllaH!
Oceanic kisses and breezes that come to this shore,
Which Your creatures speak of so often,
Reach not this Intimacy, not even with hope.
Indeed, those who are capable of reading Love's metaphors,
They call this Nearness (Qurb),
And those who comprehend signs (isyarah),
They call it Love's Elocution (Tajwid).
But, the Muhammadan Loner (Fard) who reads Latha'if,
Knows that I am the Tajwid, Sakt, and Ikhfa of Your own Name,
And nothing causes my Glory extinction, not even the Absolute Unseen,
For I am of the Muhammadan Origin.
AllaH!
I am he whom You call with All that You are, for You are You,
Whenever You mention Yourself, whether in Seclusion, deep into Your own Glory,
Or in Your Encompassment of All (Jam') that points to Your Presence:
I am of Your "inna",
I am of Your "illa",
I am of Your "Ana",
I am of Your "Huwa".
I witness You with or without 'Alam (Universal Form),
For I am the Last "Lam" of Your Two "Lam's",
And, by All that "Mim" is, in Itself, with or without All,
I certainly meet Your "Ha" and Your "Ha".
AllaH!
Indeed You, from every seeker's head to his toe,
From the narrow lanes, to scented doors, to relinquishment,
From Your Palace's Darkness to its even darker Engulfing Chamber,
To the Place of Pouring Lights;
From divulging hills to the abyss,
From the Universe and its sealing to the Presence without traces,
From "'Ayn" to "Shad", and from "Shad" back to "'Ayn" -- Your "Two Bows of Reality" --
And to "Ghayn" -- Your "Closer Still";
My stretch of You can never be severed among
Those who inhere in Your Name, within and without,
Within the within, and without the without.
AllaH!
Let there be nothing left for my onlookers, but You,
For I have indeed adorned Your Form, while they (still) say,
"He has been made to appear in the Beloved's Form."
Let the wind silently follow them all from the distant grasses to the
Vacant place of sunrise, amidst silent sands,
And let Desire's permeation
Meet the lagoon's shining surface in the Face of my Master (the Prophet),
And so let them find You oh so kissable in my own deep roots.
AllaH!
You, You, You -- He (Hu),
I am the returning place of presences and whispers,
For my very last secret, away even from All and from All-in-All, is You.
[Dedicated to the Most Beloved Prophet (SAWS), who gave this faqir All unconditionally]
D.
